I am tired of being tired, and sick and tired of being used. I hate it when people come into your life and think they can take so much from you and give so little, if any back in return . Friendship is a balance, (as is any type of relationship), of give and take, honesty, support and acceptance. I have just had a bunch of individuals in the past few months come in/out of my life who have tried, ( and somewhat succeeded regrettabley), to do the latter… I try to be a good, honest, upfront individual who is willing to help and support. I just can’t be someone’s emotional punching bag. I have feelings too, and that seems to not have mattered much lately - its all about what I can give/do for someone and that’s all…arrghh!
Such is life…
xoxoxo
Vivian
I have been missing my father so much lately. Its been a little over a year since he passed away and it still hurts soo much. The pain has gotten better with time, but I have a feeling it always be there.
When he passed, a huge wound opened inside of me and old wounds from the past re-opened along with it. I loved my dad, but it wasn’t easy. His addictions and problems made it so hard to be close to him, to let him in. I still did it despite the constant anguish and fought hard to keep my sanity and to be strong - to keep on going and build a life of my own. I did years of therapy to deal with these issues and to heal. It helped a great deal, but I have found that what damage is done is done - you can grow from it or it it can eat you up. The hurtful memories will always be there and the past is always a slight haunt for anyone no matter what their life has consisted of.
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